Don't Be Like George or Riding in the Rain

Years ago, one of Canada’s leading mountain guides was at the hospital I worked at giving a talk at Grand Rounds. Grand Rounds are a great tradition in big teaching hospitals and are generally open to medical doctors and other allied health staff. George’s talk was about rescues in Kananaskis Country and the thing I remember most clearly is that technical rescues (involving climbers from alpinists to rock climbers) comprised under 5% of the rescues conducted in any given year. This was very validating to a rock and mountain climber like myself and I strutted out after the talk feeling pretty self-righteous. Most rescues were for things that an alpinist would consider kind of nit-picky – like twisted ankles or getting wet in a rain storm – small ailments that you might feel a tad embarrassed calling the rescue services for. Not that this holds true in 2025, when a hang-nail is a good reason to call for a rescue.

My one an only rescue off Bugaboo Spire 

after Doug got his leg stuck in a crack at over 3,000 metres

The other thing I remember, which was kind of an off the cuff remark, was that coming into the busy rescue season, George had been out putting in big days in the mountains to get in shape, and, as he got older, he lamented how much harder this got every year. Every summer, I think, “stay in shape for the winter climbing season, don’t be like George;” and every year winter rolls around and I realise that, like George, I’m out of shape again.

Under all that mud my legs are actually blue

So, I’m back on the home wall – with a home wall you would think I could stay in shape – and bouldering locally when it’s not raining. I’ve also got a short term goal to ride (on the analog bike) 1000 metres of elevation gain on my local trails. The most elevation I’ve ridden so far is about 800 metres and my legs were shaking like jello on one of those vibrating fat buster machines from the 1980’s. It was too wet today to climb so I went out on the bike and came home in pissing rain after the light rain intensified into a torrential downpour. And here’s a hot tip for analog riders who dread the uphill grind after the downhill run: ride when it is pissing with rain and about 5 degrees Celsius. You’ll discover that the hills are the only thing that keeps your half frozen corpse-body alive.