Sunday, December 31, 2023

A Wimper Not A Bang: The End of 2023

There was, as there so often is, an early sign of trouble which we ignored. Our speed, heading north up the Murramarang Coast was excellent. When I glanced at my watch from time to time, we were cruising along at between seven and eight kilometres, often even over eight kilometres with no serious effort, despite rather lumpy seas and a large swell. The shallow and narrow passage between Grasshopper Island the northern end of Point Upright was pretty messy with a breaking swell so we paddled around the north side of Grasshopper Island between the big bommie and the island and into Depot Beach. Just over 2.5 hours for 20 kilometres. Maybe we can knock this 40 kilometre day off easily and quickly.


PC: DB

We didn’t land. Depot Beach is a steep beach and there was a large surge running up the beach from deep water. The kind of landing that requires a quick exit from the kayak at exactly the right moment before the kayak gets sucked back and, frequently results in the paddler being completely immersed as they stumble to stand up in deep water with a sucking swell. We could land at South Durras (Cookies) Beach and, I always find if we take our one break of the day past the half way point the mental boost is worth the longer time in the kayak.




Paddling back out, the gap east of Grasshopper Island still looked messy with waves from both sides exploding in the middle so back around Grasshopper Island and into Beagle Bay at South Durras. But our speed, we are barely pushing six kilometres and the seven kilometres from Depot Beach to Cookies Beach takes an hour. We have a short break at Cookies Beach. I’m not hungry but force myself to eat something as I know that I’ll get slower and slower if I don’t.

On any average day, South Durras to our home bay would take around two hours, but, as we head south, my watch is telling a sorry story: five kilometres an hour, sometimes even 4.5 kilometres an hour. This is going to take three hours. That is 50% more than normal. I am so tired I could weep with fatigue. It has been a heavy training week, a heavy training month and 40 kilometres on the last day of the year was not really a good decision.


PC: DB


At Yellow Rocks (Three Isle Point) we can see the current streaming north up the coast. I want to take a brief pause and rest for a moment, but not until we get into Batemans Bay as I feel, no matter how irrationally, that the current will suck me back out if I don’t get past Yellow Rocks. Somehow, we manage to pace at between 6 and 7 kilometres on the way back although my core muscles feel so worked they are almost painful to touch. Seven hours after we left, we land on the beach, which is busy with holiday makers, lying on the sand or reclining in beach chairs. We live in different spaces, the average folk, whose time off is given to “leisure” and “relaxation,” and us crazies who spend the last day of the year getting worked on a long paddle to nowhere in the hopes that the suffering now will pay off later.

Saturday, December 30, 2023

Who Am I

Years ago, blogs were a thing, then came Vlogs, then Facebook, then Instagram, now it’s TikTok (OK if you want to be brain-washed and tracked by the Chinese but probably best avoided), X (formerly Twitter, if you spend $44 Billion you get to call the app what you want), and for the more literary Substack. Half the people that started writing Substacks because they discovered blogs are a thing of the past have already quit. I admit, I’m not a fan of quitting, except in certain circumstances.






A long, long time ago (2010) I wrote a post called “The Purpose Of Blogs” which was, in hindsight, strikingly uninformative. More useful, was this entry “Back To The Blog” which I wrote three years after I first started my blog (2007) which was fun to look back at as it turns out my blog hasn’t really evolved at all, it’s just changed locations. In 2007, I restarted the blog with “adventures in the West Kootenays, opinion pieces and general rants.” If you subsitute “adventures in Australia” for adventures in the West Kootenays, that’s still pretty much true.





What has changed is the level of offense people seem to be able to work up about things that are really not worth getting offended about. I used to be a lot more caustic and a lot less careful with what I wrote. These days, I’m much more careful not to use certain words – for example, I’m very careful using the word “fat” even though most Australians are fat (this is statistically true) – because we have the Health At Every Size movement which tries to pretend that being obese does not increase your risk of cancer or other health conditions (imagine that, being fat significantly increases your cancer risk!). The truth is, I have great sympathy for fat people because the only reason I am not fat is because I work hard every day to NOT be fat. And work it is. Our society is set up to not just enable but promote fatness and weakness.





Anyway, I was cycling home from the Park Run this morning – over 300 people!, compare that to the middle of June when the Park Run has 30 or 40 people – thinking I should write about a blog that has a little about me in it. What a change that would be from my barely disguised social commentary rants. So, first thing and this shouldn’t be a surprise, I am fascinated by human psychology. I think this reaches way back to my pre-school years when my Mum and I would watch this ridiculous TV show (small black and white TV) where the psychiatrist said – every episode – “I think it’s time for the couch.” A statement like that would be considered sexual harassment these days, or misogyny because, of course, the psychiatrist was a white male. Cue comments about the patriarchy, colonialism and oppression.





Truthfully, I think understanding a bit about the human psyche and human behaviour would be extremely helpful to people, more helpful than most of the ridiculous social movements that have sprung up in recent years, because we all need to be disabused of the notion that we act rationally and sensibly most of the time and realise that we actually make rapid emotional decisions which we rationalise later. Along the scale of “thinking fast and slow” it’s pretty clear that humans think fast and save most of our brain power for – well who knows what? Thinking fast made sense in evolutionary times but does not make sense in the modern world where thinking fast means being buffeted by the psychopathy of whatever the latest “thing” is.





But, I was talking with a friend of mine the other day about what podcasts I listen to and, we both agreed (there’s not much else we’d agree on), that the podcasts/media/books you listen to/watch/read, actually reveal a lot about you. So, herewith are some lists:

Podcasts: 

  • Joe Rogan if the guest is interesting (usually a book author, journalist or contrarian thinker). 
  • Jordan Peterson with the caveats above (I have no interest in traditional Christian religions). 
  • Peter Attia (The Drive). Most episodes and almost always very informative. Subversive Voices: What else would a contrarian thinker listen to. 
  • Sensible Medicine is a podcast I would recommend for everyone to understand how the medical system really works before you become a victim (words used intentionally). 
  • The Sharp End, fascinating tales of adventures gone wrong (mostly climbing and North American focused). 
  • Rescued: An Outdoor Podcast for Hikers and Adventures is an Australian copy and I only listen to hear how cringe the host is (way too ABC for me) and how insular Australians can be (try not to be offended.) 
  • Don’t listen to Endurance Planet for training advice as it is a train wreck which is the reason I listen to it – the latest episode was full of blatant contradictions and illogical reasoning, but that’s kind of why I listen.
  • I dip into various climbing podcasts if they have interesting guests (The Nugget, The Enormocast, Lattice Training Podcast, Climbing Gold, The Run Out) but I miss the days when climbers were anarchists not obedient servants to the latest thing.   
  • Finally, my guilty pleasure: Case Files, a true crime podcast that I listen to when I can’t concentrate on more intellectual podcasts. The irony of Case Files is that every single episode they issue a content warning about violence, etc. which summarizes modern day psychopathy succintly. It’s a true crime podcast, of course, it involves violence, etc.




Books: 

  • The Real Anthonly Fauci (JFK Junior).
  • The Politics of Suffering (Peter Sutton).
  • Inventing the AIDS Virus (Peter Duesberger).
  • Cynical Theories.
  • Social Injustice.
  • And a host of books by Theodore Dalrymple, Dan John, Pavel Tsatsouline, and Douglas Murray.




I’m sceptical of everything and everyone, (so don’t be offended if I question some claim that seems a wee bit outrageous), believe in the ubiquity and power of incentives, support your right to any kind of diet that you want, but wish we all collectively didn’t have to pay the consequences for the health outcomes of diets low in animal protein and high in sugar, grain and industrial seed oils, am dismayed by the deterioration in both mental and physical health of most people alive today, sadly but truthfully, think things are getting a wee bit worse over time rather than better, and despise with the utmost passion, our obsessive culture of (fake) safetyism. No-one who lives in overly “safe” environments is ever really safe because the buffer of what they can tolerate or even thrive under has become too narrow. Politically, I’m neither left (does anyone on the left have a sense of humour?) nor right (I’m no fan of Trump but think the whole “insurrection” is nonsense) preferring to assess each issue on its own merit. I am, however, not a happy person under the intolerant tolerants or the authoritarian and censorous left (nor right). And, finally, I cannot forget the utter lunacy of locking people in their homes for 23 hours per day during the ‘rona rounds because of “The Science."

Thursday, December 28, 2023

Almost Nothing Happens Overnight

 “...it turns out that many of today's problems are a result of yesterday's solutions.” Thomas Sowell.

None of us got soft and weak overnight, or found our houses cluttered with junk overnight, or realised our lives were riddled with complexities we are unable to solve overnight or, in any other way suddenly woke up and found life was simply intolerable in its current form. In reality, all such difficulties arose “gradually then suddenly.” But is the solution simply the problem in reverse? Gradually then suddenly everything is better? Maybe, but only if we tackle the high impact issues first.





The problem is determining what is high impact. And here the issue becomes a M̦bius strip, because if we were all able to identify high impact solutions in the first place we would not end up soft, weak, cluttered, etc. etc., see paragraph one above. In all likelihood, we found ourselves soft, weak, cluttered etc. etc., because we prioritized the wrong activities first; time got away from us Рa common feature in all our lives Рand suddenly we were soft, weak, cluttered, etc. trying to work out how we got here.





How we got here, was gradually then suddenly, often, I think, as a result of our unconscious defense mechanisms which, by very definition are unconscious. Primitive defense mechanisms are likely not very helpful at all, but even higher level defense mechanisms may have limited utility. The biggest life hack we can make, in a world besotted with life hacks, is to prioritize the important things in life and make sure that our actions align with our beliefs. This is, as a friend of mine used to describe it, putting your big girl panties on and doing what needs to be done.




What needed to be done today was intensity training. Which do I dislike more: intensity training or distance? Gosh, it’s hard to say. Distance is painful for a long time, intensity is painful for a short time but a short time that seems like a long time when you are in it. Intensity requires longer recovery and is much more depleting than distance, but distance takes so bloody long! In any case, I went out first thing into a drizzly grey morning with no wind but a surprisingly large swell. I could not decide where to go: Black Rock, Pretty Point, the Tollgates Islands? - so I just paddled, my course at the end looking rather odd as I almost went to Black Rock, and the Tollgate Islands, and Maloneys Beach, and Snapper Island, but not really any of them.




The last kilometre, like the last repetition, the most painful but maybe the most useful, and then the slow paddle back to the beach, popping my deck before I land because there’s a big surge today and struggling to carry my boat off the beach by myself, but ultimately managing, and coming home to dry clothes and a hot coffee. Absolute bliss and the high impact activity over by 11 am.

Wednesday, December 27, 2023

50 Kilometres is Never Easy

It’s training, not entertainment. Steve Bechtel.

50 kilometres is never easy. Off the beach at 6.30 am and west into Batemans Bay, the tide is running in so we should have the current with us but the Clyde River is awash with water from the latest rain with so much water running out that the tide makes little difference. It feels like a long, slow pull all the way to the highway bridge at Nelligen. Two kilometres past Nelligen I paddle up to the very end of Cyne Mallows Creek, also running out swiftly, getting to the end of navigable water right when my watch indicates I’ve paddled 25 kilometres. I can turn around. Thank the good dog for that as today, everything seems to hurt.




Back at Nelligen, I stand out of the rain under a picnic shelter and eat some food. I have no appetite again but I’m pretty tired and I’ve still got 18 kilometres to paddle and, the usual easterly wind will be in my face on the way back. Doug arrives shortly after, he had paddled past Cyne Mallows Creek and his total for the day is 56 kilometres. My shoulders ache just thinking about that.




The current helps on the way south and, at times we are nudging nine kilometres an hour. At Chinamans Point (I can’t believe some authoritarian anti-libertarian hasn’t renamed that yet) we meet the easterly wind. The last nine kilometres will be a trudge, if it is possible to trudge in a kayak, into the wind. The current is strong however, so although the kayaks begin to bang, bang, bang into steep wind waves, we are still moving well.


Notorious Anchored in the Bay


The Batemans Bay bar is as rough as I’ve seen it with 1.5 metre – really! - breaking standing waves where the current hits the wind. The kayaks plunge down and up, the worst is approaching motor boats who are coming in not expecting kayaks and the waves are so tall and steep we are buried in the troughs. We want to stay in the main channel, not just to get the benefit of the current but to avoid the lines of breaking waves on the sandbars to the north. Luckily, the only boat coming in is a NSW Maritime boat which, although large and powerful, is driven at a reasonable speed.




The standing waves run almost all the way to Snapper Island and then ease up a little, but it’s rough with a confused sea paddling around the headland to Sunshine Bay. It’s only the fact that the current is still ripping that we manage to keep going at a good pace. Finally, our home bay, dodging in through the reefs to calmer water. It wasn’t entertaining and mostly not fun, but it was training, and it is over, again.

Sunday, December 24, 2023

In The Rear View Mirror: The Best of 2023

Given that we’ve entered a world where we cannot distinguish men from women or fuzzies from humans, using the correct epitaph for the season is guaranteed impossible. Is it Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Seasons Greetings, Happy Holidays, or - taking inspiration from the Babylon Bee - “Greetings Humanoids/Spirit People/Fuzzies of indecipherable and fluid gender, may the next few days be filled with the consumption of mass produced and toxic junk food, your house be filled with plastic junk produced in sweat shops in communist countries under dictators, used once and discarded, and your social life revolve around arguments with relatives best forgotten.” Who knows? No-one, like gender, if you pick your own commemoration and excoriate everyone who picks a different option you’ll be on the right side of history.



Winter Sunrise from home


But, this post is not a post-truth polemic, it is, in fact, the annual (sort of annual?) best of the year.

Best Single Day Kayak Trip:

No question on this one: Paddling the Kangarutha Coast.


Amazing conditions on the Kangarutha Coast
PC: DB


Best Multi Day Kayak Trip:

Bangalee to Clairview and High Peak Island.


Sunset Over Corio Bay



Best Single Day Walk:

Currockbilly Mountain.


Maurice Spur from Currockbilly Mountain


Best Multi Day Walk:

Mount Namadgi.


The top of Mount Namadgi


In the runner up category are the two Nadgee trips I did this year (trip one, trip two). The Nadgee paddle is the best paddle on the southeast coast and should be done by every sea kayaker at least once. The character, however, is changing with more development and more people so if the only reason you haven’t done the Nadgee is because you are afraid of surf landings, get over it, and go.


Gabo Island Lighthouse
PC: DB


Most Demoralizing Trip:

Also no competition, our piss-weak attempt on Mother Woila. Maybe, if conditions change, I’ll go back.


Mother Woila: might as well be the moon


Best of the season to you, whatever your age, gender, species, religiousity – or lack thereof.



Monday, December 18, 2023

The End Of Easy

I think it was Quick Nick B who spoiled the notion of an easy and fun downwind run on summer days. Soon after we bought our house on the NSW South Coast we noticed that the summer northeasterly winds blew directly onto the beach trolley distance from our house. On summer afternoons, this made for a perfect downwind run. When we started these easy adventures, we would leave the house around 10 am and arrive at North Head beach within a comfortable hours paddling. On a typical summer day, the northeasterly wind has just begun to tickle the water at 10 am and crossing the big bay is easy. We would land on the beach, have a mug of tea, perhaps stroll up to the look-out and launch as the wind built to at most 15 knots.




With a sail up, the run home across the bay was delightful and effortless. Most days we would simply skim our paddles across the water from time to time if needed for a brace or throw in the odd paddle stroke to catch some runners. We would arrive back home after a few hours feeling invigorated and lucky to live in a location so convenient to downwind runs.


PC:DB


But then Quick Nick burst onto the south coast scene bringing with him strange customs acquired in regions further to the north. These customs involved waiting until the summer northeasterly had reached its acme, preferably over 20 knots, at which time we would launch from the beach and paddle into this stiff headwind for a hard hour or two before we would finally arrive into the shelter of North Head. There was no rest on the beach, no stroll to the lookout, certainly no cups of tea, and most definitely NO sails.


PC:DB


With barely a moment to catch our breath, we would leave the shelter of North Head and paddle back out into a powerful wind and breaking sea and, if we could paddle fast enough, we could catch runners all the way back to the beach. In the early days of these adventures, I would trolley to the beach like a (wo)man condemned. At once keen to learn this new skill of catching runners in a strong wind but also half-terrified lest I capsize, miss a roll, bail-out, lose my boat …. On very windy days, my anxiety would be such that eating lunch was difficult and by the time we crossed the bay and reached the lee of North Head, I’d be shaking with a mix of hunger and nausea.





According to Quick Nick the wind was never above 15 knots although many days I had to hold my boat down on the beach lest it blow away before I launched. I would check the weather data when we got home and find the wind had, in fact been blowing 20 knots with much higher gusts. I came to believe we could be standing in front on approaching Category 4 Cyclone and Nick would think the wind about 15 knots.




Apart from paddling bloody fast to get on the waves, it helps if you can speed up at the right time. Watching Nick, and later Doug, I would marvel how these two could throw in a few quick powerful paddle strokes, get onto a wave and then pause and ride the wave for a few seconds or even longer; not only speeding ahead but also getting little mini-rests. As a smaller paddler who is neither quick nor powerful this technique continues to elude me and, most of the time, although I can ease off a bit when I get on a wave, a full rest with no paddling is rare indeed. Mostly, I paddle like I’m being pursued by a Great White Shark the entire way arriving at the beach with barely enough energy left to land the kayak.





When I was first learning timing, Quick Nick would paddle beside me and yell “Speed up now!” or “Paddle hard now!” “What,” I would think to myself “does Nick actually think I am doing? I am paddling as hard and fast as I bloody well can. Any harder and I’ll pop an aneurysm.” Occasionally, we would make really good time on the downwind leg and, checking his watch back on the beach Nick would say “That’s not bad, but you can probably go quite a bit faster if you just try harder.” I began to research Personal Defibrillators. Is there a model that can handle exposure to salt water?


PC:DB


We don’t see Nick as much anymore for afternoon downwind runs but we’ve never gone back to the cushy days of leaving before the wind gets too strong and employing a sail. Somehow, those eminently sensible practices feel like cheating. It was the end of easy.

Saturday, December 16, 2023

Lost At Sea

“Do you know where we are?” asked Doug. I was tempted to reply “F88ked if I know,” but instead replied “Somewhere south of Broulee Island” (which isn’t an island). Within an hour of leaving our usual launch site we had been plunged into thick sea fog which obscured everything. It was strangely disorienting, sea and sky were merged into a grey blanket, we could hear the surf crashing onto the shore line to our west, but nothing was visible and the larger waves took on the appearance of land on the horizon.


PC: DB

At Pretty Point, we had a brief glimpse of the rotten cliffs of the peninsula but then the fog thickened and it was only when I heard waves both ahead and to the west that I had realised we were on a collison course with Jimmies Island. We abruptly turned east and passed within 100 metres of the the island unable to see anything at all. I steered a more southeasterly course for a couple of kilometres knowing that we also had to pass to the east of Burrewarra Point. After a while, there was no more feeling of large waves and we settled into paddling due south. Fixing my compass on my deck after the Erowal Bay affair was already paying off.


PC: DB

We had, however, neglected to bring a map, and on this day, I had also left our radio behind. Why do we (I’m sure I’m not alone) continue to make the same mistakes? We continued following our compasses south, but, of course, if you look at the map, it’s obvious that to paddle to Moruya Heads - our destination for the day – a southwesterly course is required. At about 18 kilometres, I pulled out my mobile phone and checked Memory Map and saw that we were about 8 kilometres off Bengello Beach. We probably should have headed due west as, in a north south direction, we were only 1.5 kilometres from the breakwall at the entrance to the Moruya River, but it was hard to see the map on the phone through the waterproof case so the bearing was a bit of a guess.


PC: DB

At 23 kilometres, I checked the map on the phone again and we were now south of the entrance to Moruya Heads. Neither Doug nor I had eaten before leaving home. Six in the morning on the water is too early for anything but coffee which is a necessity. We were planning breakfast at Shelley Beach inside Moruya Heads but quickly decided that finding our way in through the bar in such thick fog would be difficult so we would head north to Shark Bay for our break. We had a quick bite to eat in our boats and then headed northwest thinking at some point we would see Bengello Beach and, hopefully, the entrance to Shark Bay.



PC: DB


Of a sudden, as these things do, the fog lifted as drier air blew in from the south. We noted that Shark Bay was due north should the fog descend again, but the rest of the day was clear. We both effected an entrance to Shark Bay which has a large shelving reef which breaks, and stopped for tea and breakfast. The one good thing about missing Moruya Heads was that we were past half way for the day. Passing half-way is always a big mental hurdle for me on these long days out and a real morale boost to know we had only about 20 kilometres remaining.


PC: DB

We had the effects of the East Australian Current (EAC) which runs north to south as, we passed Burrewarra Point at over eight kilometres an hour going south but under six going north. There was lots of clapotis and current effects and we bounced around all the way north with the jostling most pronounced on the points – Burrewarra, Jimmies and Pretty Point. At Lilli Pilli conditions always ease and this day was no different. When we came around the last reef, of a sudden the water was smooth and we had a light tailwind. I was astonished how much easier the last four or five kilometres felt, which was good, because I was getting tired and cramped. At 1:30 pm, we landed back on the beach, 48 kilometres down in 7.5 hours including our short break. Another long day complete.

Wednesday, December 13, 2023

Death By Intensity and Does Data Matter

We are a society obsessed with data: smart watches and Oura rings, blood tests and continuous glucose monitoring devices, even full body MRI scans in apparently healthy individuals. But, does all this information actually change our behaviour or is this supererogatory of data simply sustaining anxiety and neurosis in already anxious and neurotic people?




Contrarians in the medical community have begun to push back against the use of prophylactic testing which has not been shown to reduce morbidity or mortality, but often leads downward into the dreaded interventional cascade. This is challenging stuff not merely to the medical orthodoxy (increasingly motivated to follow conflicted guidelines primarily designed to CYA) but also to a public that has mistakenly come to believe that more, rather than less is necessarily better without comprehending that every action has – to quote Isaac Newton – an equal and opposite reaction. There is no type of monitoring or data collection that does not have an unintended consequence as a corollary.




My own rule of thumb when thinking about these things is simply to ask: “Will the resulting information change my behaviour? Or the treatment offered?” If no-one, least of all myself, can elucidate a clear and concise answer to this question a priori, there is simply no point collecting that data. Much of the data we are driven to collect is actually pretty piss poor. Using Oura rings to assess sleep, HRV to judge recovery, blood tests that simply capture one snapshot in time. Rather than wasting our time with data, we should optimise what we can: eat plenty of protein, do as much walking as possible, pick up increasingly heavy objects and put them down, foster supportive social relationships.




To some extent, we’ve all been wooed by data, big data. Data on sleep, and recovery, heart rate variability, blood tests, and scans. All we can see is data, data, data and surely with more data we’ll make better decisions. The only success I’ve seen from big data is how well big companies have been able to use big data (mostly collected from our internet searches and social media brag pieces) to convince us all to spend big on something we don’t really need, want, won’t change our behaviour and has no measurable improvement upon our lives. Don’t fall for it.





Saturday and Tuesday were intensity days. No smart watch data needed. On Saturday, I cycled down for the Park Run and what a sweaty affair that was, hot already at 8 am and 700% humidity. Tuesday was fast paddle day, a 10% increase on the last fast paddle day. The Park Run is only five kilometres which pretty much anyone who is not near death can survive, while 13 kilometres fast left me feeling noodle like and fatigued. I had data, but it made not a wit of difference.

Saturday, December 9, 2023

An Anthropological Study of Homo Kayakus in its Natural Habitat: Quarantine Bay to Mallacoota

Little is known about the evasive and elusive male sea kayaker. This sub-species of the more commonly encountered Homo Sapiens frequents long surf battered beaches and off-shore islands and tends to travel in small cohorts that are almost exclusively male. Found on all Australian coastlines from temperate Tasmania to tropical Thursday Island there remains much mystery about what drives these small bands of adult males to paddle far from shore in small boats seemingly ill suited to this purpose.





In early December 2023, I had the opportunity to join one of these tribes on a pilgrimage from Quarantine Bay south of Eden to Mallacoota in Victoria. This stretch of coast is the last remaining unroaded coast in southeast Australia and as such is popular with the itinerant and often nomadic Homo Kayakus. In order to blend into the tribe I self-identified as a male for the five days of this trip, and, as many members of Homo Kayakus donned eye glasses when onshore, I believe my subterfuge to have been successful. Certainly, I was accepted into the clan and was able to observe at close quarters previously undocumented behaviour characteristic of Homo Kayakus.




Day 1: Quarantine Bay to Mowarry

Quarantine Bay is situated deep within Twofold Bay as such is often sheltered from northerly and southerly winds. Immediately upon leaving Quarantine Bay and paddling east, a northerly wind became detectable. Within about 200 metres of leaving the small beach, the cohort of six paddlers split into two groups, with one group heading due east to Lookout Point, whilst the other group paddled more or less directly southeast towards Boyd Tower which is prominent on Red Point. As an observer, I followed the larger cohort along the northern shoreline and noted that there was no previous or on water discussion of splitting the group. This simply happened organically.




At Lookout Point, a 12 to 15 knot northerly wind was blowing and sea conditions were bouncy. With a tail wind now guaranteed, Homo Kayakus proceeded to unfurl sails which are fitted to the fronts of kayaks and the group proceeded to make good time across the mouth of Twofold Bay towards Red Point and Boyds Tower. Just south of Boyds Tower, the remaining two members of the tribe were spotted also paddling south. One particularly tall member of the species, although possessing a sail, was rarely seen to use this implement and instead paddled along side the cohort, seemingly having no difficulty keeping pace with the tribe.  The clan soon approached a northerly facing beach and proceeded to land the kayaks and with surprisingly alacrity a temporary camp was established.





Day 2: Mowarry to Merrica River

By the second day out it became apparent that Homo Kayakus is well adapted to the coastal environment and to a great degree their daily habits follow a diurnal rhythm retiring to their hastily erected but nonetheless sturdy shelters when darkness falls and emerging at first light whereupon the shelters are hastily disassembled and stowed, along with a plethora of other equipment into the small craft that the sub-species favours.




Early on day two, the group was once again at sea and heading south in bouncy conditions down this cliff-lined coastline. The lack of easy landing spots did not deter clan members some of whom paddled very close into rocky features, a demonstration of either great prowess with their small craft or an obliviousness to danger. Some tribal members utilised crude sails but again the tallest member of the clan opted to paddle without use of ancillary aids perhaps in a display of dominance.




At Bittangabee Bay, the tribe turned to west and paddled about a kilometre up a sheltered bay to an easy landing spot where some nourishment was taken. Much banter accompanied this short break, possibly a method to promote tribal cohesion. After a short period on land, the tribe grew restless and were soon back in their craft and heading south towards Green Cape. One by one, the tribe paddled and, in some instances, sailed around Green Cape and pulled into the lee of more steep sandstone cliffs where they grouped up. This interesting behaviour is rarely witnessed and possibly only occurs under certain extreme circumstances. Typically, the male Homo Kayakus is a solitary paddler.




A strong northerly wind was blowing with gusty conditions and a rapidly building and steep sea. Homo Sapiens might have found these conditions rather confronting but Homo Kayakus seemed to revel in them going so far as to unfurl sails again which resulted in the kayaks reaching extreme speeds across Disaster Bay. So boisterous were the winds that even Homo Kayakus were forced to lay paddles out to the sides of their crafts as a preventative to capsize. In an attempt to blend in and be accepted as one of the tribe, I too unfurled my sail but found the experience more terrifying than thrilling and, after one near capsize, I was forced to pull the sail down for a short time. My observations of the clan were difficult as we hurtled across Disaster Bay as, once again, the tribe became heavily fractured with some members far north, others to the south, and some lagging the main group altogether.




As the tribe proceeded deeper into Disaster Bay, the wind eased and I was able to swiftly raise my sail. I could only hope that no other members of the tribe had seen this break with clan customs. At a deep cleft between surrounding hills, a small beach was visible and, approaching this beach, the tribe found a large and swiftly running brown river emanating from the hills to the west. This allowed easy egress to a long and scenic river gorge. As is clan custom, despite some tribal members arriving at the river before others, no members disembarked until the clan had gathered together again and decided on a location to erect another temporary encampment. Again, this temporary camp was swiftly erected in a very pleasant location under large native trees beside the river with access to fresh running water.




Day 3: Merrica River

Strong southerly winds the following day prevented even Homo Kayakus from paddling any further south. Instead, tribal members engaged in their traditional hunting and gathering activities. Mussels were acquired and fishing lines employed throughout the course of the day with some clan members trolling a line behind their craft up and down Merrica River. I was absent a good part of the day so my observations of Homo Kayakus at rest are necessarily incomplete. The strain of blending into a group where a preponderance of the members had bushy facial hair was trying and so I walked along forest tracks to Newtons Beach relishing the opportunity to revert to my more usual habitus.




Day 4: Merrica River to Cape Howe

On day 4 the normal diurnal rhythm of Homo Kayakus life had resumed with the tribe on the water in the early morning. With no wind and only a one metre swell, the tribe paddled closely along the cliffs and beaches of this remote coastline revelling in conditions which allowed close inspection of the many temporary waterfalls cascading off cliffs, seals resting near rocky reefs, sea caves and arches, and even sightings of sharks. At Little River, a surf landing was made on an exposed east facing beach where a channel into the lagoon behind the beach had opened up. The ease of this landing prompted the clan to push beyond the usual landing site at Nadgee Beach which gets some slight protection from southerly swells at the far south end of the beach, to a small bay immediately north of Cape Howe.





At Cape Howe, Homo Kayakus hurled themselves into the surf guarding the beach with little regard for larger sets of waves. As an observer, I waited out back until the beach had cleared then paddled in during a lull in larger sets and the other tribe members generously assisted me and pulled my kayak up the beach. It seems I had been fully assimilated into the clan.




Cape Howe is a unique place to pause when paddling along this coast. Huge sand dunes to the immediate south mark the border with Victoria where the Gunundaal ship wreck is found along the inter tidal shoreline. After heavy rains in Victoria, fresh water pools ideal for swimming were located among the sand dunes. To the north of Cape Howe Beach, a large rock platform extends northward for a kilometre while behind the north end of Cape Howe Beach, Bunyip Hole, normally only a small tarn was now a large lake.




Another temporary encampment was hastily erected. This time, the clan dispersed along the length of the beach with some tribe members camping in tea trees behind the beach while others made shelter on the sand beach. Overnight, a northerly wind blew up and one tribesman moved his shelter from the beach to the tea trees. This demonstrates the ability of Homo Kayakus to react rapidly to changes in atmospheric conditions.




Day 5: Cape Howe to Mallacoota via Gabo Island

The sound of the surf on the beach was so loud overnight that I donned ear plugs in order to get some sleep. Next morning, the two tribesmen camped on the beach had dissembled their camps and packed their boats even earlier than usual. Normally known for their tenacious paddling ability and indifference to the hazards of surf launches, one of the older (and hairier) members of the tribe pointed out that the surf was becoming more dangerous as the tide dropped.





Very soon, the tribe had packed boats and moved them towards the surf zone and, in one of their characteristic displays of practicality and utility, tribal members assisted other clan members to launch kayaks off the somewhat messy surf on the beach. I noted, yet again, that under benign conditions, tribal members do spread far but, when difficulties approach, the clan works together to keep all members safe.




Once the tribe was at sea, sails were unfurled, except for the last remaining member to launch who staunchly paddled without a sail. The tribe resumed the sea journey, turning now to the southwest and rapidly approaching Gabo Island. The tribe passed between the narrow gap between Telegraph Point on the mainland and the northern extension of Gabo Island and paused for a brief stop on the small sheltered beach in a north facing bay on Gabo Island.




The rest of the journey was completed under very calm conditions as the wind abated completely and the seas were glassy and flat. Fresh, brown coloured water from Mallacoota Lakes had pushed all the way to Gabo Island and at Bastion Point the boat ramp was closed due to damage caused by recent heavy rains and flooding.




At Bastion Point, the tribe was as efficient as ever. Quickly unpacking kayaks, loading gear and boats onto cars and, as the first drops of rain fell speeding off to replenish diminished energy reserves at a local cafe. This may be the first documented account, complete with photographic evidence, of the nomadic habits of Homo Kayakus. Counter to previously held suspicions, I found the tribe welcoming and inclusive. Although given to broad spread whilst paddling under benign conditions, the tribe nevertheless displayed unusual and touching concern for tribal members when conditions warranted.

All images courtesy of DB.