Things That Are Just Too Weird

Some things in life, we all agree, are just too weird. My list of what is just too weird will probably differ from yours. However, this is my blog, so this is my list of what is just too weird.

People who “like” their own photos on Crackbook. Facebook must be one of the most egotistical mediums out there – and I'm as guilty as anyone else – but “liking” your own picture pushes egoism into narcissism.

While I'm on the subject of Crackbook, what is with all the food pictures people post? I can see, barely but I can see it, posting a picture of some healthy (or what you think is healthy) food you've made yourself, but I cannot wrap my head around posting picture after picture of some zero nutrient toxic sugar piece of crap you are going to eat. Why not just shoot yourself and take a picture of that?

Status updates that are way too personal. I don't need to know about the swingers party you went to last night, or the fact that you and your ex are having a very public dispute over the house/kids/car, or your crisis of faith, or any other personal thing that should remain personal.

Try a sport you have to think about

The whole craze for long endurance running that, despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary, is really bad for your health. The fact that you can push yourself into a near coma, lose all your muscle mass, drive your hormones out of whack, and completely degrade your joints is NOT a badge of honour, it's a sign of stupidity. If you need a challenge, engage in sports that require technique, skill and intelligence, not ones that reward folly.

Healthy people blending fruits and vegetables up into a drink in NutriBullets, Magic Bullets or some other piece of crap consumer electronics as if this is somehow healthier than sitting down and actually eating a salad or piece of fruit (don't over do the fruit). The only reasonable excuse for this is if your jaw is wired shut and you can't chew. We did not evolve to eat pureed/extracted/blended food. Have we got to the stage where we are too lazy to even chew?

Long, melodramatic trip reports where nothing really happened except you got shut down by the weather. Get used to it and get over it. If you are going to go out into the big wide world climbing/hiking/kayaking it's gonna rain, snow, blow, or some combination of all of the above and you'll do some suffering. Your suffering is no worse than any one else's and probably a good deal less. Suck it up, Princess. 

We've all been there, suck it up

The whole idea that if a bit is good, more has got to be better. A lot like long endurance running. Lifting heavy weights is good, but not every day. Bouldering is good, but not every day. You need to rest your muscles for them to get stronger. Try doing pull-ups every day and, pretty soon, the number of pull-ups you can grind out will get less and less and less, until you can't manage a single one. You don't have to slide into absolute sloth on your rest days, but you do need rest days. 

Some A2B on the rock rings

Watching any one of those endless “extreme sports” videos that get sent around on Crackbook or going to any mountain/outdoor film festival. Admit that you are basically wasting your life watching someone else live theirs. Which is fine if you have no life, but really, wouldn't it be better to make your own life interesting?

Watching videos to “get your stoke/mojo” or whatever to go out and run/climb/ski/bike/whatever. If you can't motivate yourself without watching videos of some other dude living life you are never going to last at your sport. Either learn to “want it” or take up something you do want, even if it's knitting. Better that than pretending. 

 Go out and get your own "stoke"

Well, that's part one of “Things That Are Just Too Weird.” There are so many weird things out there that this series could go on and on and on, but, that would be just too weird.