After months of clandestine testing on the hazardous waters of the Coral Sea where man eating saltwater crocodiles, tiger sharks and, most dangerous of all, the Aussie yobo, threaten sea kayakers, Smug Doug Productions has launched their latest sea kayak sail the “ToqueHead Mark III.” This innovative design combines sleek good looks, powerful styling, and muscular performance with vinyl tablecloth material and velcro to create a unique three stage design that enables even the wimpiest kayak sailers to harness the power of the wind.
SmugDoug poses with the ToqueHead Mark III, Stage One
showcasing the integrative table cloth vinyl used in construction
Does anything more than a riffle on the water scare you? Do you turn tail when the wind is blowing two knots? If so, Stage One of the Toquehead Mark III is perfect for you. Simply drill half a dozen holes in your boat, attach the sail, and hope your kayak does not take on too much water and submerge. Stage One of the Toquehead Mark III features a full visibility 0.30 metre square sail made of sturdy vinyl tablecloth material from Spotlight. Additional advantages include being able to eat your sarnies directly off the sail!
For girls, or bigger balled men, Stage Two of the Toquehead Mark III features the same quality vinyl tablecloth you have come to expect from SmugDoug Productions, coupled with an innovative white band across the top of the sail to increase your visibility to obnoxious jet skiers and drunken yobos in run-abouts. This 0.66 metre square sail allows you to harness the full power of five knot winds. Leave your sail-less companions far behind, get to the beach first, and enjoy your lamingtons directly off the sail!
SmugDoug with the ToqueHead Mark III, Stage Two
this version suitable for girls and men with big balls
For women and men with such big balls they can barely walk, Stage Three of the Toquehead Mark III features the fully functional one metre square sail that excels in all winds above seven knots. Experience the thrill of kayak sailing and the terror of being dumped upside down in a following sea. For a full SmugDoug Productions experience, capsize in big seas with an off-shore wind and try to disentangle yourself from all the extraneous lines that this huge sail features. You'll be glad you packed a knife – and not just for the crocodiles.
SmugDoug with the ToqueHead Mark III, Stage Three
Only women and men with such big balls they can barely walk should use this sail
Available now at all quality kayak stores. Individual results may vary.